Scott Jurek mentions a particular phrase a few times in his book. Let me tell you something. I woke up a few times this morning as my alarm was going off. Then my snooze. Then the second snooze. Then my daughter knocking on the bedroom door asking if we were going to EVER GET UP?!?! I thought these words every time I opened my heavy eyes.
I told you
last Friday night I was intending to run a “long” run on Saturday morning, yet here I sit, 1:30 on a Sunday morning 3:30 on a Monday afternoon, having run a measly 3.5 miles this morning. I did nothing to help propel myself to the success I crave as a runner.
Sometimes you just do things.
I know I won’t get stronger by sleeping in. I know, in order for me to be the best runner I can be, I have to push myself. I have to eat correctly and workout intelligently. I know the things I have to do, yet I don’t do them as often as I should.
Those words resounded through my head a dozen times or more this last weekend, and I did nothing but make excuses and come up with reasons to not run. “Oh, my running buddy isn’t here”. “Oh, I have too much housework to do.” Over and over again. And then again.
I am not full of self-loathing. I know sometimes people have a hard time finding their motivation and getting moving. Lord knows I have had to do it in the past. I have done physically demanding things which would make most people shiver in their shoes (maybe those stories will be for another time). I have done things mentally, again, that would leave “normal” people scratching their heads, trying to figure out why people like me do the things we do. That being said, I am having a hard time committing, and I mean really committing, to doing the ultra-marathon I want to do. I did the 10k, and am supposed to be training for the 25k, but just am not really feeling it. I wonder if it is because the 25k is so far off. That could be the problem. it could be that I didn’t really think this whole “running” thing through.
In the past, I was a very good runner. I took it for granted though and am having to work my ass off to get the endurance and strength I used to have back. I have changed the way I eat. Not completely vegetarian, but pretty damned close. I think I have meat (chicken or fish only) one or two times a week. I still do the dairy, and I don’t know if I will ever go the distance and give the milks and cheeses up.
It seems like I am rambling here. The point of this post is that I need to find my motivation. I just don’t know what or how to do it.